moving on
by minachandler
Summary: Set at the end of 2x17. After watching the video of Eddie, Iris has some questions for Barry.


The tears are still in Iris's eyes when she knocks on Barry's door tentatively, phone still in hand. Hastily she wipes her eyes just before Barry opens the door to her.

"Hey," he says softly.

"Can we, uh, talk?"

"Sure."

He steps back and lets her inside, and Iris hesitates only for a moment before settling on Barry's bed. Barry regards her quietly, still on his feet, and after a moment's consideration he sits down next to her.

For a few seconds, they just look at each other, neither of them saying a word. It's dark outside and the sky is clear, for once, the moon a thin pale crescent against dark blue ink, throwing Barry's face into sharp relief as Iris regards him.

"What did you want to talk about?" Barry asks.

"You know what," Iris says, holding up the phone.

"Did it help?"

"Yeah," says Iris, and for a moment she smiles, really smiles, in a way she hasn't felt her mouth move in what feels like forever. "And I felt close to him… for the first time in a long time."

She doesn't say how much she missed the sound of Eddie's voice. She doesn't say how she kept trying to imagine it in her head and it would just sound wrong. She doesn't say a lot of things, but in that moment a fresh wave of grief threatens to overwhelm her and she instinctively reaches for Barry, outstretching her arms towards him. He hugs her back, stroking her hair.

"Shhh. It's okay," he whispers to her, and she holds on to him for dear life.

"You were right," Iris says, her voice muffled as she speaks, face still buried in his chest. "I need to move on. And seeing him say what he said… it helped. So… I just wanted to say - thank you, Bear."

"You're welcome," Barry murmurs.

She takes a breath, pulls away from him a little, and her heart feels a bit lighter now. "And - is there something you're not telling me?"

Barry opens his mouth as if to say "What do you mean?" but Iris just folds her arms and waits expectantly.

"Okay," he says, "you're right. I - you know how we've been having trouble with my speed?"

"Yeah."

"We, that is, Caitlin, Cisco and I, decided…" Barry's hand goes up behind his neck, like it always does when he gets nervous.

"You decided what?"

"We decided I should travel back in time to ask Wells - Thawne - about the speed equation."

Iris's eyes widen with surprise. "Oh my God. But, Barry, what if you disrupted the timeline in some way?"

"From what I know… I haven't. Not in a way that matters, anyway," Barry says. "But - while I was there, I figured I could get something else done that I wouldn't get a chance to ever again."

"You mean you did that… for me?" Iris says in a small voice.

"You know I'd do anything for you, Iris," he says sincerely, and there's something about the way he says those words, the way his face lights up in the glow of the moon, the way he squeezes her hand with both of his, that makes the breath catch in her throat.

"I do know that," Iris says at last. "I just don't know what I can do to thank you."

"Hey," he says, nudging her gently, "you're my best friend. You don't ever have to thank me."

 _I love you too,_ she wants to say. But there are some things, she thinks, that are better left unsaid.

Instead she says, "So… please tell me Wells came through for you and you didn't time travel for nothing."

Barry chuckles. "Yeah, he did. He gave me all the info I need for tachyon enhancement. Cisco and Caitlin just have to do their thing and I should be good to go."

"Was it… hard?"

He grimaces. "Yeah. Especially when Wells figured out who I was."

"What do you mean, he figured out who you were?"

"I mean he was ready to kill me, until I bluffed my way out."

"Please," Iris says, "please promise me you won't do anything this reckless again."

He tries to reassure her, but it doesn't really work. "Hey, look, it's okay. I made it back in one piece. Safe and sound."

"I just… have already lost someone I love because of him," Iris says.

"I know," he says, grimacing again. "God help me, I know."

She pauses for a moment, then says, "Hey, Bear, when you saw him - was he… happy?"

Barry nods. "He was," he says, and Iris smiles. "And it made me want to go back to - better days, to be honest."

"What time did you go back to, exactly?"

"It was - a little after Christmas last year."

"That was..."

"Just after I faced down the Reverse-Flash for the first time, yeah," Barry says heavily, but he doesn't seem to catch her expression because she's thinking about what else happened for the first time.

 _I love you, Iris_ , he'd said.

 _Aw, I love you too_ , she had replied.

"Did you see me at all?" she asks instead. "I assume you did something to knock the other you out so you could pretend to be him -"

"Yeah, I did, but no, I didn't see you. It was - probably for the best, to be honest."

"Things were still weird between us back then, huh?" Iris says, and the memory of Barry's confession to her at Christmas hangs unspoken in the air between them.

He shakes his head. "Not just that. I've gotten so used to you knowing I'm the Flash. I figured of all the people I was with - you were my weak spot. Where I'd be most likely to slip up."

"I see," Iris says eventually. "Well… I'm glad you made it back home."

"You and me both," Barry agrees.

She looks into his eyes, and for a wild moment she wants - inexplicably - to kiss him. There's just something about the way his eyes light up when he looks at her that makes her heart beat just that little bit faster and for a second she's almost leaning forward when she catches herself, gets to her feet.

"I should probably go," she says abruptly. "I… uh, thanks, Barry. For doing that for me. It means the world to me."

 _You mean the world to me_ , she wants to say.

Barry smiles, reaches out, touches her knee. "I'm just glad I could help," he says. "You deserve to be happy, Iris. It's what Eddie would have wanted."

"I know."

And despite herself she reaches down and gives Barry another hug, and he hugs her back, and when she lets go there's something different in the way they look at each other.

"Goodnight," he says, smiling at her.

"Goodnight," she replies, at the door now, and she shuts it quietly behind her.


End file.
